you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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