Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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