Non-Jews are for practice
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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