she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
