Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
