i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
