i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
