Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
