there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
