At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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