11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize