Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
