Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We got so high we made milksteak
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize