There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
