Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
