You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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