I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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