After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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