I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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