I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize