I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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