I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize