My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
