so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
