Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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