My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize