We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
