i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
