That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There are leaves in my underwear?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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