Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
