Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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