That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
