ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize