then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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