Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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