ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
