I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
