i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
