You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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