i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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