I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I think I am morally bankrupt
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
