i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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