At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
