why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
