All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
