It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
