Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
