Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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