Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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