David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
