Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize