1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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