This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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