Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
