literally had 100 drinks last night.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
