Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
