I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
