we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
