i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
