I'm going to jail i love you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
